Like most women, I have a complicated relationship with birthdays. Which happens to be today. I won’t get specific, but I will admit to being in my eighth decade, and creeping closer to the next round number. By the way, for those of you who, like me, almost failed math, the eighth decade does not
Are you one of those people who take great pride in your ability to do several things at once? Do you cook dinner, feed the dog, and talk on the phone all at the same time without sautéing the Alpo and giving Fido the hamburgers? Do you wipe the sink while you’re brushing your teeth
Thirty-seven years ago, before anyone would dare to refer to me as elderly, a movie was released called “Airplane.” Starring an unlikely comedic cast, including Leslie Nielsen, this spoof of Hollywood disaster films, much to everyone’s surprise, became a sensation. Of the many brilliant sight gags and clever lines, the following brief dialogue between Leslie
So here we are, on the cusp of a brand new year. There’s a lot to be said about 2017, but I’ve made it a practice to limit the use of four-letter words on my web site. Therefore, I shall let Fox News and CNN continue to battle it out, and direct my comments elsewhere.
We may disagree on a number of things, such as the best way to unroll the toilet paper, from the top or from the bottom, but my darling and I are in complete accord when it comes to dogs. We love them, and can’t live without them. If you’re not a dog person, or even
It is the common wisdom that men, especially men of a certain generation, do not like to shop. In fact, a British survey of over 2,000 people found that men became bored after only 20 minutes of shopping, while women could go for a full two hours. This should come as a surprise to no
NYC Big Book Award honors Susan Goldfein by selecting How Old Am I in Dog Years.... as the 2017 winner in the Humor category. Susan commented, "I am beyond proud to announce that I have been awarded the best Comedy book for NYC's Big Book Awards! Thank you to all you crazy fans for the continued support, I
Recently, I’ve been giving a good deal of thought to kissing. In fact, I believe it’s becoming a mild, and hopefully temporary, obsession. The type of kissing to which I’m referring is not the romantic, erotic “French” kiss (yes, I still remember those), but the less passionate and tongueless social kiss. I’m fairly certain that
I hate lunch. It is definitely my least favorite meal of the day. And by far the most boring. And also disruptive, much like an intermission during a play. Which I also hate. Not the play. The intermission. I frequently choose to skip it altogether. The lunch meal, not the play. I have read that
I am not, by nature, a competitive person. If I even so much as win at a game of Scrabble, my inclination is to leap over the board, hug the loser, and say "sorry." Yet, each morning, upon opening my eyes, I find myself engaged in a verbal duel. I'm not exactly sure when this
