Spoiler alert: I griped about this very same topic a couple of years ago, but apparently no one was listening!  I’m still hearing the same robotic-like comments from well-meaning people, comments to which I feel coerced to politely respond.  And it’s the “politely respond” part that I find particularly irksome.  Call me cranky, or something worse, but it’s getting more difficult to stop myself from blurting “Don’t tell me what kind of a day to have!!!!”

By the way, Happy New Year!  This is the last time I shall say “Happy New Year “in 2025.  It’s the middle of January.  It’s enough already!  There should be a National “Say By” date after which it’s no longer appropriate to utter those three words.  Much like a “use by” or “sell by” date on a product.

I am no longer foolish enough to make New Year’s resolutions, but I thought if I could get some petty annoyances off my chest straight away, I will be able to face the rest of the year with a smile on my face.  Maybe.

So let me begin with one of my favorites, “Have a great day,” and its derivatives “Have a good day,” and “Have a good evening.”

If a stranger tells me to “have a great day,” how am I supposed to respond? Do I simply say “You, too?”  But that’s ridiculous.  I know perfectly well that the guy who parked my car is not going to have a great day.  It’s Florida; he’s sweating.  He’s running around in the heat parking and fetching cars for impatient people and cursing under his breath when they give him a stingy tip.

Instructing one to have a “great day” puts an onus on the recipient.  Now one must ponder about what extraordinary thing to do to make this day grander than the days before when there was no mandate.  It’s less of a burden to have a “good day,” I suppose.

Similarly, I’m leaving a restaurant at 10:00 PM and the hostess at the door smiles sweetly and says, “Have a good evening.”  Do I look twenty years old and about to go dancing? I’ve had my “good evening” in your restaurant and it’s already past my bedtime.  Do I bother to tell her it’s no longer evening, and a simple “Good Night” would be more appropriate? I really want to, but behind my smile I am gritting my teeth.

I find restaurants to be the source of another teeth-gritting experience.  I’m sure this has happened to you.  (If not, tell me where you dine because I want to go there.)  A wait person comes to take your order.  You tell her (or him, but it’s mostly a “her”) what you want, and she responds with an enthusiastic “Great!!.  You can almost see exclamation points coming from her mouth.  Was the menu a quiz and I made the correct selection? Is she complementing me on a good score? And can you tell me why ordering a Caesar salad and a plate of pasta is a wonderous thing? I find the response of “Great” in this context highly grating.

Then, there’s “Hi, how are you?” frequently uttered when you walk into a shop.  You’ve had me at “Hi.”  And do you really care how I am? And do I really care to tell you?  “Well, if you must know, my husband and I had a terrible row last night and I didn’t sleep a wink.  Then I spilled tomato juice all over the dog and had to bathe him three times before his white coat was no longer red.  Then I slipped on the kitchen floor because it was wet from bathing the dog three times.  And later I found out my best friend has an incurable disease…”  But the truth is not what is expected.  So, you smile, and lie, and simply say “fine.”

And how do you feel about political cliches? Whatever he (or she, but most often, a “he”) is ranting on about, the wind-up to the tirade is most often “….because that’s what the American people want!”  Hey, how do you know what the American people want? Did you waste my taxpayer dollars on a sweeping survey of every American? Funny, because I’m an American person and I don’t remember being asked.  Argh!

And in closing, I’d like to award honorable mention to “follow your dream,” and its cousin, “Do what you love,” both of which, to my mind, have about as much substance as a fortunate cookie.

So, let’s raise a glass to a cliché-free 2025.  And until we meet again, promise me you’ll at least try to have a great day!

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