Have you missed me in your in-box?  Even if you didn’t notice or were relieved to have one less email to delete, I’d like to explain that the unplanned sabbatical over the last few months was due to family matters that required my full attention.  I’m happy to report that all is well and, for better or worse, I’m back at the keyboard.

Whether or not you are pleased by this news, I could not let the year come to an end without presenting my traditional top ten quiz of the stupidest new drug names of 2024.

And 2024, with all its ups and downs, produced a bumper crop of entirely unpronounceable labels for new pharmaceuticals.  Choosing merely ten out of the 60 novel drugs approved by the FDA in the past 12 months was like trying to eat only one potato chip.  I promise you; I am not making these up!

ALYFTREK

  1. A hike across the Alyf Mountains
  2. The first letter of the new Hebrew alphabet
  3. Alyft’s car after an accident
  4. A, or maybe C

HYMPAVZI

  1. A song of praise dedicated to Saint Pavzi
  2. Pavzi’s friend introducing him to Tarzan
  3. IZVAPMYH spelled backwards
  4. All of the above

YORVIPATH

  1. The road to Yorvi
  2. A vipath that belongs to you
  3. Someone with a lisp offering a VIP pass
  4. None of the above

LAZCLUZE

  1. A clumsy Laz
  2. A sequel to the TV show Blue’s Clues
  3. An exclusive new A-list club in Los Angeles
  4. Some of the above

LEQSELVI

  1. What you get when you take a photo of your lower limb
  2. A body of water in Selvi
  3. A misspelling of Mr. Lequselvi’s surname
  4. Are we there yet?

XOLREMDI

  1. An innovative musical scale
  2. A cure for Xol
  3. A game of Tic Tac Toe gone awry
  4. Let’s try B

UNLOXCYT

  1. The super had a key and he was able to open the door
  2. An ersatz smoked salmon product
  3. A mnemonic for a new United Nations agency
  4. I’m getting a headache!

ZIIHERA

  1. Uh oh! My “I” key got stuck again!
  2. Zeus’ wife identifying as nonbinary
  3. A timespan characterized by Ziih
  4. Where’s the Advil?

RAPIBLYK

  1. The fast train to Blyk
  2. A dyslexic abbreviation of one of the five NYC boroughs
  3. A new hip-hop star who calls himself Iblyk
  4. C?

REZDIFFRA

  1. A unique type of Rez
  2. Securing a table at the hot new restaurant Diffra
  3. Land belonging to a heretofore unknown Native American tribe
  4. Thank God it’s over!

And honorable mention goes to Exblifep, Zelsuvmi, Tevimbra, and Nemluvio, all of which are causing my spellcheck a nervous breakdown.

And in case you have any interest left at all, here are the uses for the drugs: Alyftrek: cystic fibrosis; Hympavzi: hemophilia; Yorvipath: hypoparathyroidism; Lazcluze: lung cancer; Leqselvi: alopecia; Xolremdi: WHIM syndrome;  Unloxcyt: carcinoma; Ziihera: biliary tract cancer; Rapiblyk: tachycardia; Rezdiffra: liver

From my family to yours, I wish you a happy and healthy New Year.  Hopefully, I will continue to invade your inbox once a month in 2025.  I thank you for your continued indulgence.  I couldn’t possibly have this much fun without you!

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