Would cheugy by any other name be as drip?

Now that I’ve completely confused my Spell Check as well as anyone reading this, let me remind you that it’s once again time for my ESL quiz.  That is, English as a Second Language as spoken by our high school and college-age grandkids.

Spring break is upon us and with it comes the children of our children seeking warmer climes and perhaps a beach.  They bring with them not only their dirty laundry but a vocabulary of the latest slang words that have you wondering if your hearing aids are working properly.

Well, fear not.  Communication is still possible.  Below I present to you ten of 2024’s latest introductions into the English language.  It may take a while before the Oxford English Dictionary catches up, but in the meantime, you won’t have to stare at the eighteen-year-old across the breakfast table and plead “I’m baby. ELI 5.”

So, live and learn, folks!

Cheugy

  1. A new candy bar that’s guaranteed to remove your fillings.
  2. When repeated, some weird train sounds.
  3. Someone reminding Gy to eat more slowly.
  4. A, definitely A.

Cozzielius

  1. A long-lost brother of Marcus Aurelius
  2. Something that’s super-comfy!
  3. A cover made exclusively for an Elius teapot.
  4. B, maybe C.

ELI 5

  1. A five-piece musical group all with the same first name.
  2. The ELI that falls between 4 and 6.
  3. A cockney version of someone who failed to tell the truth 5 times.
  4. All of the above.

Delulu

  1. The forgotten lyric to the Cole Porter song It’s De Lovely.
  2. Two British bathrooms as described by someone from Brooklyn.
  3. Cousin of the woman who trimmed Samson’s hair.
  4. None of the above.

Side Eye

  1. An image from a Picasso painting.
  2. A nickname for someone with exceptional peripheral vision.
  3. A cut of meat similar to a rib eye.
  4. Some of the above.

Moots

  1. The bodies of water surrounding a castle.
  2. Stoom looking in a mirror.
  3. A pair of boots that can also double as mittens.
  4. Are we there yet?

OOMF

  1. A sound made by a dyslexic cow.
  2. A more concise alternative to oomph.
  3. A noise that follows a punch in the gut.
  4. I’m getting a headache.

Rizz

  1. Nickname for a former Yankee short stop.
  2. What you do when you get out of bed each morning.
  3. A short name for a mutant berry.
  4. Where’s the Advil?

Touch Grass

  1. What you do when you roll a joint.
  2. What happens when you trip on someone’s lawn.
  3. A sign that is the direct opposite of “Keep Off the Lawn!”
  4. Help!

Fax. No printer

  1. An order for office equipment.
  2. Sending a communication while issuing a command to a dog named Printer.
  3. A punch line to an insider joke. (Similar to No soap. Radio.)
  4. I don’t really care.

So, how did you do?  Here’s how to interpret your score:

7 – 10, Excellent. You’re gassing.  4 – 6, Pretty good – you are almost mother. 0 – 3, communication is your Roman Empire!

Want the real intended usage?  Cheugy: something that was once fashionable; Cozzielius: pressure and challenge related to the cost of living; ELI 5: I don’t understand-Explain Like I’m 5; Delulu: delusional, unrealistic; Side Eye: someone regarding you with suspicion; Moots: from mutual-folks who interact with each other on social media; OOMF: short for One of My Followers; Rizz: short for charisma; Touch Grass: disconnect from the digital world and go outside; Fax. No printer: Undeniable truth of something.

Other:  Gassing: hype someone up; mother: how to describe someone you admire; Roman Empire: your personal downfall.

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