Remaining mostly at home during this past year of COVID-19 has opened my eyes to many things.  Some of which I would rather have not seen.  For example, the dust bunnies under my bed.

Or the water spots that accumulate way too frequently on the shower door.  And  the grease that hides in the crevices of the kitchen stove even after you think you’ve wiped it all clean after cooking your latest stay-at-home gourmet meal.

I admit it.  I am fortunate enough to be able to employ a once-weekly housekeeping helper who possesses a keener eye than moi for spotting hidden dog hair.  But not being a part of my nuclear family of two (three, if you include the dog), it was prudent that she not enter my house during this time of utmost caution.

(As an aside, I’d like to comment that the older I get, housekeeping assistance is not the luxury it once was, but more of a necessity.  You know this when putting a fresh sheet on your bed is apt to lay you flat on said bed with an aching back!)

But desperate times call for desperate measures, and being a proponent of a certain standard of cleanliness, there was little choice but to tackle these chores on my own.  And that’s how I became, temporarily at least, a household deity, a.k.a. Domestic Goddess.

A Domestic Goddess is defined as a woman who is very good at cooking, and keeping her house clean and organized; a woman with exceptional domestic skills.  A very high bar, indeed!  But I was up for the challenge.  My back was not so sure.

What I discovered during this cleaning frenzy was there were actually certain chores that I minded not at all, and others that I absolutely detested.  Discussing this with one or two friends, I discovered that we didn’t necessarily agree about the zen of hand-washing the dinner dishes vs. swabbing the toilet.  Using the daily grind to my creative advantage, I’ve come up with The Domestic Goddess Rating Scale.  So take time out from your dusting, and check your personal reaction to these six common domestic chores:

Ironing

  1. Somewhat relaxing
  2. Tedious, but necessary
  3. I don’t mind a few wrinkles
  4. What’s an iron?

Vacuuming

  1. Rewarding
  2. Tedious, but necessary
  3. Dust bunnies are cute
  4. What’s the point? The dog keeps shedding

Scouring the Bathroom

  1. Tiring, but virtuous
  2. Disgusting, but necessary
  3. The foggy mirror hides my blemishes
  4. I’d rather have root canal!

Making the Bed

  1. Mindless
  2. Boring, but necessary
  3. I’m practicing neater sleeping
  4. Closing the bedroom door is an option

Washing Windows

  1. Results are highly rewarding
  2. Difficult, but necessary?
  3. Opaque lighting is much more flattering
  4. Why not just dangle me off a cliff?

Mopping

  1. Satisfying
  2. Annoying, but necessary
  3. Too much sloshing
  4. Does anyone really eat off the floor?

I hope you responded to this brief list with honesty.  Even if you admit to deriving satisfaction from cleaning the toilet, I promise you won’t be judged.  I know how that feels, since I was once ridiculed by my former best friend who caught me in the act of ironing.

But now that I’ve been double-vaxxed, I’ve happily thrown open my door and welcomed the return of housekeeping assistance.  Goddess status isn’t all it’s cracked up to be!

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Unfiltered Wit is taking a break for the summer to focus my creative juices and elbow grease on packing, moving, and relocating to a new home in Florida.  But I will be sending re-posts – some of my favorites, and I hope yours, too. Have a great summer, and I’ll be back with fresh material after Labor Day.

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