It’s not your imagination.  There are more TV commercials intruding on your favorite programs than ever before.  Or should I say, the actual programs appear to be filling in the time between  clusters of annoying commercials.

These days, even Charlie Rose can’t seem to get a word in edgewise.  No wonder he has so many different broadcasts on a variety of channels, rivaled only by Law & Order reruns.  Poor man.   It’s the only way he can get to complete a sentence.

Despite the number of avoidance devices that are at my disposal, such as the DVR and the mute button, and  lower-tech strategies like flushing the toilet, or letting the dog out, I occasionally get lazy and merely sit and stare at the screen.  This causes a sudden onset of extreme irritability, especially aimed at the proliferation of  advertisements for prescription drugs.  America – are we that unwell?

shutterstock_145467145In addition to the fact that the possible side effects of these drugs sound worse than the medical conditions they claim to serve, I’m also struck by their names.  It’s as if someone selected a rack  of high-point Scrabble tiles, and was forced to turn them into words.

So will you know what to discuss with your doctor when your bladder’s acting up? To find out, take the test below.

Jublia

  1. A chewy, colorful little candy that gets stuck in your tooth
  2. A religious holiday
  3. 50th anniversary celebration
  4. Dial 911

Prevnar 13

  1. Successor to the throne of Prevnar 12
  2. A bar mitzvah announcement
  3. Friend of Artoo Detoo
  4. Take 2 aspirin and call me in the morning

Otezla

  1. National anthem of Tezla
  2. New non-stick frying pan
  3. A Mayan ruin
  4. I’ve fallen and I can’t get up

Harvoni

  1. The machine that cleans the ice in a hockey rink
  2. The brother-in-law of the man who invented the wireless
  3. A type of pasta
  4. I’m coming down with something

Myrbetriq

  1. Archenemy of Superman
  2. A sneaky wager at the track
  3. A USSR space capsule
  4. Get undressed and put on this gown

Xarelto

  1. Son of Xorro
  2. Former ruler of Russia
  3. Not a soprano
  4. Say aah!

Victoza

  1. A former football player
  2. A remedy for chest congestion
  3. Old fashioned record player
  4. You have six months to live

Onexton

  1. Opposite of Offexton
  2. Gasoline formerly known as Esso
  3. A very fat Onex
  4. Does my insurance cover this?

Xeljanz

  1.  A ’70s rock group
  2. A Xel that belongs to Jan
  3. Znajlex spelled backwards
  4. It only hurts when I do this

I will stop here, in case I lost you at Victoza.  But no list would be complete without at least a mention of Restasis, Humira, Enbrel, Linzess and Orencia.  No, this last one is not a city in Spain, nor a fizzy orange-colored drink!

So how was your Rx IQ?  If you have any interest left at all, the real answers are below:

Jublia: toenail fungus; Prevnar 13: pneumonia vaccine; Otezla and Enbrel: plaque psoriasis; Harvoni: hepatitis C; Myrbetriq: overactive bladder; Xarelto: afibrillation; Victoza: type 2 diabetes; Onexton: acne; Humira: arthritis; Linzess: IBS; Xeljanz and Orencia: rheumatoid arthritis; Restasis: dry eyes.

NOTICE:  1000 Things To Say…..will be taking off the month of August.  So, as the song says, See You In September.   Enjoy the rest of your summer.

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