Growing older is no excuse for not keeping on top of things!  No, this is not a reference to the sexual practices of septuagenarians, but to being in tune with what is happening today!  Specifically, I am referring to words, vernacular, vocabulary.

For instance, do you think you know what the word “cloud” refers to?  Well, you’re wrong!  It used to mean only one thing.  Now it means quite another.  This formerly simple concept has been kidnapped by the technology industry to describe a data storage method.

And this is just one small example.  Language is changing by the minute.  So to keep up with what’s au courant, I’ve put together a 10-item quiz to test your TQ (Trending Quotient).  If you don’t want to feel like a dinosaur, take this exam before your next conversation with a millennial.  Don’t know who a millennial is? Then that might be a good place to start.

Millenials

a)      Slimy insects with lots of feet
b)      Thousand-year anniversary celebrations
c)      People who makes hats
d)      Some of the above

Pixel

a)      A Jewish pixie
b)      What your opponent might do in a Scrabble game
c)      Misspelling of a cucumber marinated in brine
d)      None of the above

Giga

a)      A movie starring Maurice Chevalier
b)      A dance they do in Ireland
c)      A steel-crushing monster from a Japanese sci-fi movie
d)      All of the above

Wthiwwy

a)      A villain from a Superman movie
b)      A town in Wales
c)      The Da Vinci code
d)      You must be kidding!

Hash tag

a)      The price label on a package of chop meat
b)      The icon formerly known as Pound
c)      The cost of a smoke in Colorado
d)      I’d like to phone a friend

App

a)      A half-eaten apple
b)      The by-product of urination
c)      A new fruit created by crossing an apple, a pear, and a plum
d)      A and B, or maybe not

lol

a)      Little old lady
b)      Lots of love
c)      Two parallel lines with a circle in the middle
d)      I ‘ll take “Movie Stars” for $1,000, Alex

Cra Cra

a)      A toddler requesting a Crayola
b)      Twin shell fish
c)      Two arcs spelled backwards
d)      I don’t have time for this nonsense!

BTW

a)      A new subway line in New York City
b)      A bacon and tomato sandwich on white
c)      Scrabble letters worth a total of eight points
d)      I’d like to buy a vowel

Rad

a)      A small radio
b)      An insect spray that has been recalled due to a missing letter
c)      A conservative group of women who got turned around
d)      I think I failed this quiz!

Bonus Question:

Phishing

a)      Phake way of spelling “fishing”
b)      Attempting to catch a phluke
c)      Casting your line off a pherry boat
d)      Who gives a ph_ _ _!

Interpreting Your Score:

0–4      Best to stay inside your gated community
5-7       OK to talk to people age 50 and over
8-10     You have been approved to text your grandchildren

(If I still have your attention, here are the real answers.  1) Millenials: also known as Generation Y.  Demographic cohort born between the early 1980s to early 2000s.  2) Pixel: smallest controllable element of a picture represented on a screen;  3) Giga: a unit prefix in the metric system denoting a factor of a billion; 4) wthiwwy: texting abbreviation meaning what the hell is wrong with you; 5) hash tag: # symbol used on Twitter to link tweets about a topic; 6) App: short for application, or computer program; 7) lol: texting abbreviation for “Laugh out loud:” 8) cra cra: very crazy!; 9)btw: yet another texting abbreviation for “by the way;” 10) rad: another way of saying “far out” or very cool.  Bonus Question) Phishing: attempt to acquire sensitive information through an internet scam.)

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